(Photo by Weezer)
I've been for a few weeks now engaged with a great group of ladies in a Bible study. I've never participated in anything exactly like this before. Similar, but with a more focused topic. We're doing Jennifer Rothschild's "Walking By Faith (Lessons Learned in the Dark)". This has been a phenomenally wonderful study and I've already re-discovered a side of me that I'd forgotten about.
Jennifer Rothschild is a beautiful woman, physically and spiritually. At the age of 15 she began losing her eyesight to a disease that had no cure. Today, she is totally blind.
I have for years lived in fear ~ fear of the unknown and fear of change. It's kept me away from people, activities, and events that deep down I wanted to be involved in. I wouldn't couldn't let the fear go and make that step forward. Even the second meeting of our study was held without me there. I was dressed and ready to go but fear wouldn't let me out the door.
The next week, after many prayers, I forced myself out and attended the study, arriving with what must have been a distressed look on my face. Debbie, the leader of the study asked abut me and I told her. Everything!
Long story made short, they did an annointing right there, right then. As I sat in that chair, with hands-on prayers and love surrounding me, I was literally bathed in a ray of light. I felt the warmth, opened my eyes and found the sunlight from outside being reflected off a car's windshield, shining its way in and illuminating me. A light that pased through three rooms from the outside to ME!
I know I left that day feeling strong and empowered. I knew that God had let His presence be known and it was He who put me in the company of those ladies. I drove away from there to the words on the radio:
"This is where the healing begins.
This is where the healing starts."
I know that fear is not something from God. What is from Him is the power to overcome that fear as long as we walk by faith. Oh, things aren't fully turned around, but I'm moving in that direction. I'm stronger today than I've been in a long while. As long as I can say I feel strong mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, I can handle the bad days of physical pain. And all that brings me great peace.
"My yoke is easy and my burden is light."
~Matthew 11:30
(Photo by Weezer)
8 comments:
O I hear you on the crippling affect of fear! I lived in fear of EVERYTHING for so many years. That was the reason I built a protective cocoon around myself that made my life very small.
But God would not let me stay there,, just like He is helping you through your great friends in your group. My biggest helpful tool was to work at taking my thoughts captive. I must CHOOSE my thoughts not be dictated by them.
So glad you are on the healing road!
Wow! Great post. Guess I had better leave any comments about a room full of ladies laying hands on me would lighten up my day, too, out. Nope not gonna do it. I'll be good.
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Lydia
beautiful post. you allowed yourself freedom from this fear and out of it came a wonderful blessing. thanks re comment on my blog. if you were a bear, ou wouldn't have to buy a fur coat.terrible joke. God Bless
I look forward to hearing more about this as I go through phases of fear of being socially accepted. Religion is not a part of my life but I do respect others. One day at a time... Sail Away....
We were talking about fear the other day in one of the groups I attend. Every one seems to have fears of some kind. I realized that as a Christian I have the living God dwelling IN me by his Spirit. Why should I be afraid--I had to say that one day last week when I was fearing something and when I reminded my heart and mind of this then I had His peace. I want to listen to Him, to His Holy Spirit and let him control what I think.
Beautiful, Ma, and I'm so proud of you. I really am.
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