I had a doctor's appointment this morning and though the news wasn't bad, it just seemed like one of those days when my doctor just wasn't interested. And that he really didn't know why I was there. And that he couldn't remember who I was. Strangely distant and disconnected. All this when I've been to see him once a month since my surgery the end of May. (For those who don't know, I had neck surgery in May and the screws holding the hardware are coming loose. Yeah, go ahead. Say it. I've got loose screws! Anyway, the surgeon still hasn't released me. All this and more is what lead to my not being able to work, lead to my being terminated from my job as a pediatric nurse after almost 17 years.)
This is where Satan comes in. I had committed to cook some food for a dinner at the church tonight and had to stop at the grocery store on my way home. I walked in Kroger, feeling pretty unimportant and small, and there.......right in front of me........right inside the entrance at Kroger.........sat a grocery cart. Heaping, brimming, over-loaded with packs of cigarettes. All brands. Long and short. Menthols and non-menthols. Name brands and generics. All with a big sign on it that said:
$1.67 a pack
I stood and looked at all that there. $1.67 a pack?! Are you kidding me? I stood and talked to myself...out loud. My final discussion with myself was, "Hey! You've gotten to 40 days without a cigarette. If you even think for a minute that you could smoke one, just one, and get back on track.... Linda, you know better. Leave me alone, Satan. Get away from me!" And I walked away from it all. I sure did think about it though. Again and again. But now I'm pretty dog-gone proud of myself. For the 40 days and also for resisting the temptation that I know Satan was putting before me.