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Friday, October 16, 2009

Memo to Myself after reading Jessica's 'Memo to Myself'

I just read Jessica's eloquent blog posting 'Memo to Myself'. Much of what she had to say to herself are things that I wrote to myself a few years back but have long ago filed in some forgotten place. She started by explaining that her ten-year high school reunion was this summer. My 40th was just last month. Such a time span between the two graduations (hers, 1999; mine, 1969) and still things are much the same. As she made the decision not to attend her reunion, such was my decision about my own. There have been only a few people from that period in my life that I have kept in touch with. Many of those that I went to school with made my life miserable. The high school I attended was one of the most elite in Columbus, attended by the children of doctors, lawyers, college professors. I was bussed in to the school 'from the county'. Being of a military family instead of a 'family of money', I was ostracized. I just didn't fit in. I didn't then and I'm sure that those feelings would have dredged themselves up if I had attended. I did, however, attend my 25th (maybe it was the 20th) reunion and I was quite uncomfortable and it was forgettable. So I decided not to subject myself to that again. I've had no regrets and haven't given it a thought until now.

Right now I want to encourage you to think about everything in your life that you think is horrible and ugly. Separate them into things that you can change and those that you can not. You'll see that most things are within your power to change if that's what you want. You'll find a way if it's for real.
If I could talk to the myself of 40 years ago I would tell her that just because your options seem limited for your life, for your future, things will change. Women won't always be expected to marry at the first opportunity and your career options, should you decide to pursue a career, aren't limited to being a nurse, secretary, airline stewardess, or teacher. If there's something out there that interests you, don't let anyone tell you that you can't do it 'because you're a woman'.
You are who you are. Things are going to become very competitive and women are going to be judged by how they look. The 60s are nothing compared to what is ahead. There will be people trying to change your hair, your complexion, your body build, and your overall personality. Everything will be rated and scrutinized. The only thing you have to be concerned about is just exactly who you are and how you can make the best of all your attributes.
Down the road you're going to realize that your Mom and Diddy are the closest friends you'll have aside from the man you choose to marry and the children that you'll have. Your parents will be there through the very worst that life will throw your way. They'll know when to get involved in your life and what seems now to be an intrusion in your life, IT REALLY IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. They will have their hearts broken by your actions and decisions but will remain true to you and by your side always.
There will be a man and his wife that will come along and what they have to offer you will be more than you will imagine at the time. Take their help to heart and remember them always. They could very well be acquaintances that will change and possibly save your life. Open up to them and though their counsel will be forgotten at times, hold a small glimmer back to draw from. You WILL want and need it.


Beccalynn said...

Wow! I thought your daughters looked like you before, but comparing those photos, the resemblance is uncanny! What a gorgeous group of girls!

Jessica said...

Beautiful thoughts, Mom. It's like reading my own mind. And wow....some of those pictures were absolutely phenomenal.

And.....I have a surprise for you on my blog today.... =D

Beccalynn said...

yeah, i realized they are you :-)

Angelia said...

I sure wish I could write deep like you and Jessica.
Both of you are powerful writers.
Love the pictures.
I know I should know who the couple at the bottom is, but I've drawn a blank.