Yesterday I got the call I've been waiting for. The call from my nurse manager that she needed to see me, to give me a letter and my clearance papers...for me to clean out my locker. I've been expecting it. And I know it's for the best....for me and for the place I've worked so long. But whew! It was really strange. Mixed emotions. Fear. Sadness. Relief. Emptiness. Finality. Even hopelessness.
I'm going to miss it. Miss the place, the co-workers. I've been through a lot with many of them. Watching them graduate from nursing school, go through the self processes of finding their own identities as nurses. Then they'd start dating, get married, and have children. I've lost track of how many pregnancies and born children there have been with the staff since 1991. I feel like I've had a part in raising not only their children but them. Many are the same age as my own children.
I'm going to miss having so many children in my life. And believe me, if you're a good nurse, the patients, the children and their families, become part of your life. You don't just take care of them for a time and send them home. Many come back. And some you read about in the paper. There's no doubt in my mind and my heart, that I've made a difference in some of their lives.
Now I move ahead and try to find another way to make a difference.