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Saturday, November 07, 2009

No Smoking ~ Day 3

Definitely not as bad as it could have been.  Mornings are bad.  I'm used to walking the back yard with a cup of coffee in one hand and a cigarette in the other while I go out and check the bird feeders and see if I need to do some mole reconnaisance.  That's pretty much the first thing I've done once I've checked in with Terry and told him that I'm up and moving.  Moving isn't quite as swiftly and up isn't quite as early, it seems. Coffee doesn't seem to taste quite the same.
My sleep is messed up.  I don't get sleepy when I need to be and can hardly hold my eyes open when I need to be awake and alert.  And the dreams!!  They're just weird.
On a positive note, the all-natural, stop smoking program came today so I've started that.  There's two bottles of capsules, one for a detox that I'm to take before each meal and the other is a diet suppressant.  I don't know that it's going to be strong enough to counter the craving to constantly be putting anything in my mouth but I'm tryng to stay attentive to the hand-to-mouth action.  I'm using a lot of yogurt and carrot sticks.
I've also found that when I feel like I'm getting fidgety and need to get up and move, that's just what I need to do.  I experienced today the feeling of being penned in and unable to move which only served to make me irritable.  I think I'm going to re-start my St. John's Wort for the mood cycles.  I haven't taken it since I quit work and I think now would be a good time to restart it.
We were out this evening where people were coming and going from an art gallery downtown and there was a gentleman who came in and he smelled horribly of cigarette smoke.  I sure didn't like that.  I kept trying to stay away from him because of the unpleasantness of it.  It was positive in the sense that I thought that that very well could have been me.  It's not something that's hidden very well.
Overall, I just don't like to talk about it much.  When Terry asked how he could help me I told him that I'll let him know if I need to talk about it.  It's been many, many years since he went through this same experience but I'm sure he remembers how it was.
Please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers.  This is going to require a lot of attention and strength for a long time.  I'm un-doing +30 years here.


Mama Kayla said...

Good for you. I'm also going to tackle the smoking beast in February. (I have a plan...and I think it will work.)

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Sp proud of you.....

Angelia Sims said...

Many, many good thoughts and prayers your way to beat this!

I know it's tough. I quit cold turkey in 2006 after 19 years of smoking. I drank a TON of water, carried a jug with me. The first two weeks were hard but after that I stopped thinking about them.

Almost four years later I couldn't be happier.

whyquit.com has some great info.

All my best to you! You can DO IT!